


When Robots Discover Gay Porn

by AiDoll



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Crack, Humor, I don't know why I wrote this, It's supposed to be funny, M/M, Oneshot, Questionable Ending, Sorry Not Sorry, also a big joke, but ended up being kinda serious, it was just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 03:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17317184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AiDoll/pseuds/AiDoll
Summary: One day, Ai had the day off, and was relaxing in Quartet Night's apartment. While looking around, he managed to find Reiji's laptop left unlocked. Ai looked through the laptop, to find some questionable things....





	When Robots Discover Gay Porn

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my first time writing fanfiction, but I'm not the greatest at this, since I am still learning to write.

It was a normal, peaceful day. The sun was shining, there was no clouds anywhere in sight, and it is Sunday. Today was the entirety of Shining Studios day off. Everyone was off, with no work to bother with, for the rest of the day.

Currently, the apartment of the famous idol group: Quartet Night, was just as quiet and peaceful as the day is. Quite a shocker, considering how often the members fight and argue with each other.

The members were each doing their own daily thing, that they usually do during their free time.

Camus, was reading, while enjoying a cup of tea, and a plentiful of sweets. Ranmaru, was taking a nap in his room. Reiji was out for a drive currently. While Ai, was sitting in the living room, relaxing.

Ai wasn't really doing much, as he had nothing scheduled for today. He could do some more research, but his laptop is dead, as he needs to charge it; which is what he is waiting for. He knew Reiji had a laptop, which he texted Reiji, asking if he may borrow it for a while. He doesn't use it anyway. So, now he sits here, waiting for a response.

He knew Reiji was busy driving, most likely, so it would be a bit until he gets a response.

While Ai was waiting, he went ahead and looked over the script of the movie he is in.

After a while of reading over the script, Reiji finally replied telling him that he can use the laptop; making sure to give him the password, as well, since it is locked.

Ai set down his phone on the living room coffee table, then leaving to go to Reiji's room, and retrieve the laptop.

Once he entered the room, he noticed that the laptop was left open on Reiji's desk.

He walked over to the desk, moving the mouse a bit, to trigger the screen to come on. Once the laptop brightened up, what appeared on the screen, was something Ai had never seen before.

It was a paused video, of two men in the middle of engaging in....sexual activities.

Ai took a seat at the desk, slowly hitting the play button.

He continued to watch the sexual video, observing the actions done, words said, everything that was happening.

Once the video was finished, he exited out of the website.

"How strange..." He mumbled to himself. "I never knew that such positions were possible."

The front door to the apartment opened, not even a few minutes later, with Reiji shouting to tell everyone he is back.

Ai left the laptop, before walking out of the room, and to the living room, where Reiji was.

Reiji placed his keys on the key holder, then noticed Ai was standing there. "Ai-Ai! Did you come to greet me?" He asked, a large smile spread across his face, as always.

Ai sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. "No. I did not intend to come and greet you." He replied, causing the other to whine.

He fake pouted, before giving up and sighing. "Is there a reason you came to talk to me?" He asked.

"Yes, there is a reason." Ai nodded, staring intensely into Reiji's eyes. "What is gay porn?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side a bit.

The older male jumped from shock, his face covered with a mixture of nervousness and panic. "W-what? Why are you asking m-me?" He stuttered.

"I found it on your laptop. You left it open." Ai tilted his head to the side, curiously.

Reiji kept silent, looking down at the ground, shifting from foot to foot.

"Reiji-"

"Oh, would you look at the time! I have to be going now!" Reiji suddenly exclaimed, grabbing his car keys, and heading for the front door.

Ai quickly followed after him. "Reiji, where are you going?" He questioned, even more confused than before.

Reiji froze, slowly turning around to face Ai. "Oh, I have a trip I need to go on. Didn't I tell you?" He laughed, albeit nervously.

"You never mentioned it." Ai calmly replied. "How long will you be gone?"

"Five years!" Reiji smiled, laughing.

"Five years?"

"Did I say five? I meant seven years!"

"Where on earth could you be going for seven years?" Ai sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Reiji laughed, grabbing the doorknob. "I'll be gone for ten years, silly! And like I said before, it's for a trip!" He twisted the doorknob, opening the door. "Well, bye!!" He ran out of the apartment, before Ai could say anything else.

Ai sighed, not even bothering chasing after him. He closed the front door, since Reiji forgot to. "Hmm..." He stood there for a moment, in deep thought. Perhaps he could ask Ranmaru or Camus about the gay porn he found of Reiji's laptop.

He went to the kitchen to retrieve some of the leftover cake, so that Camus will be willing to talk to him. Looking through the fridge, he finally found the cake. He then went to Camus' room, knocking on the door.

After a few seconds, the door opened, with Camus appearing from behind it. "What is it that you want?" He sighed.

"I have a question to ask. Ai stated, showing Camus the cake he had to offer.

Camus kept quiet for a moment, as if in deep thought. He eventually moved out of the way of the door, allowing Ai to walk in.

Ai walked into the room, setting the cake down on the coffee table, and taking a seat on the nearby couch.

Camus closed the room door, then joining him, shortly after. "So what is the question you have to ask?" He asked, taking a sip from his cup of tea.

"What is gay porn?"

Only loud coughing could be heard after those words were spoken, as Camus choked on his tea.

"W-why are you asking me this..?" Camus hesitantly questioned, as he attempted to silence his coughing.

"It was on Reiji's laptop." Ai calmly replied.

Camus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Then ask that idiotic fool, don't ask me."

"Reiji went on a ten year trip, so I can't ask him." Ai frowned a bit.

"Ten year trip? I never heard of this." Camus said, in a harsh tone of voice.

Ai shook his head. "Neither have I, but Reiji was insistent on leaving, after I had asked him what it was." He explained.

Camus was already annoyed and tired of this, he even finished the cake in the time they were speaking. "Go ask Kurosaki. That aggressive rocker, should be able to explain this better." He sighed.

Ai nodded, standing up to leave. "Thank you for your time." He said, before exiting Camus' room, and making his way to Ranmaru's room.

He knocked on the door to Ranmaru's room. There was no response, as he was most likely asleep. Ai chose to just invite himself in; opening the door, and walking into the room.

"Ranmaru." He called out.

No response, besides the quiet snores echoing in the room.

He approached the couch that Ranmaru was currently asleep on. "Ranmaru." He tried again, speaking louder this time.

Still no response.

Ai sighed before leaning down, and smacking Ranmaru across the face.

"Ow, what the hell!?" Ranmaru yelled, jumping up, as he held his now stinging cheek. He glared at the robotic male.

Ai stared blankly in return. "I knocked." He said.

Ranmaru sighed, plopping back onto the couch, closing his eyes. "What do you want?" He asked harshly, still a bit salty about Ai slapping him.

"I have a question."

He sighed. "What?"

"What is gay porn?" Ai curiously asked, tilting his head the the side.

Ranmaru's eyes widened, as he immediately sat back up. "What!?"

"What is gay porn?" Ai repeated.

"Why are you asking me!?" Ranmaru was becoming increasingly annoyed.

"It was on Reiji's laptop."

Silence.

So that's why....

All those times Reiji made flirty comments, and slapped his male coworkers ass... It was because he was _gay_.

Ranmaru kept quiet.

"Ranmaru?" Ai finally spoke up.

"Where's Reiji?" Ranmaru questioned suddenly.

Ai blinked, mildly confused. "On a trip."

"How long?"

"Ten yea-"

"TEN YEARS!?!?" Ranmaru shouted from shock. "What the hell!?"

Ai shrugged. "I asked Reiji why there was gay porn on his laptop, then he suddenly had to leave."

Ranmaru sighed, before laying back down, turning to face the couch.

"Ranmaru?"

"Just go. You don't need to know what gay porn is." He mumbled, before going back to sleep.

Ai sighed, before turning to exit the room.

He attempted to ask so many people what gay porn was. He asked his coworkers, his kouhais, Dr. Kisaragi, and even Shining. Yet nobody would tell him what gay porn was.

Reiji never returned, it was as if he disappeared completely. Perhaps he moved to another country and changed his identity, because he felt so embarrassed over the events that had happened. Because Ai had found his secret gay porn stash.

Quartet Night had evidently, disbanded. As you cannot be Quartet Night, if you are missing a member.

What happened to everyone afterwards is unknown, perhaps they all just continued life as normal, without being idols anymore. Who knows?

_And that, is the end of this little story. The story, where the robot discovered gay porn, for the first time._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you were able to enjoy this little crack fic, that ended up being more serious than anything.


End file.
